The Following Guidelines I write for Lindsey so she'll know that I, her Mom have the Best of Intentions. By following these simple guidelines Lindsey may be able to break free of her self destructive behaviors, thoughts and patterns and start a happy fulfilling life.

1. Get up on time every school day - Get up out of bed every school day by 6:00 AM. This is to keep you used to a regular schedule. Look around you and you'll see nearly everyone gets up with enough time to spare in the morning to do everything before they leave for work or school.
2. Practice Personal Hygeine  - Bathe, brush teeth and hair every day. 
3. Maintain a Clean Environment around you - Make sure you have a clean bedroom and living spaces before doing anything else every day. Dirty clothes towels and bedding are a breeding ground for germs. They belong either in the laundry basket or washed dried folded and put away.
4. Eat a healthy breakfast - Begin your day by having a little something to eat. It will help to maintain your energy level and weight.
5. Do school work every day - Even though you are in Community School use this time from 8:15 -- 3:15 every school day to educate yourself. This is your chance to correct the mistakes you made over your first year in High School. This is your opportunity to not only catch up on the work you missed but a chance to create a GPA (grade point average) that will be with you for the rest of your life. If you have finished all the required and extra work and have no more school work to do ues this time to read, research your interests and improve your vocabulary. MySpace is NOT considered research.
6. No Excuses, Be On Time - This is to create structure and regularity in your life. By being on time you wont miss out on important things but you will become reliable.
7. Be Considerate of Others - (a) Loud angry or hate music is not allowed. Banish profanity, hate, racist, sexism and prejudice from your life (and ours). If we wouldn't talk like that we don't want to hear it . It is unfair to subject others to this. (b)Keep telephone calls to 10 minutes unless it is a family member. Ask permission to use the phone.(This is called respect for others and asking permission so as not to intrude on others privacy whereby others hear conversations within the house) Consider also that we might be expecting an important call. (c)Offer, and be available to help with household chores and activities- become involved in your / our home. We all live here, have never had a maid and your Mother is not your maid, cook or chauffer. (d) Respect others privacy. This means do not subject us to the dangers of strangers entering into our home.  When the handgun vanished from our home you lost the privilege of having guests here (unless they are direct family members).
8. Keep in Mind I  Work at Home between the hours of 8 am and 4:30 pm and demand that you Do not interrupt my work and try to manipulate my time. This work I do at the house is an alternative to commuting for hours and it is our bread and butter, my future and my livelihood. This IS my job and since you are not my boss wait until I am taking a break to ask for my attention. Constant interruptions interfere with my train of thought and productivity. Unless it is a life and death matter be considerate of my time, it can wait.
   
9. No illegal substances including marijuana, alcohol or drugs are allowed in our vehicles,home or on our property nor do we condone it being on you or your usage. We can not allow illegal behaviors that will ultimately result in our being arrested for even your own items brought into house ( this is called contributing to delinguency of a minor even if not our own also viewed as a parent who is not responsibly monitoring their child which can be constituted as also child endangerment ), which can lead to us going to court,being fined, jailed, or lose our freedom and property. Due to what are dictated by local state and federal laws as deemed in legal interpretation for laws pertaining to minors under the minors acts regarding 'responsibilities of a parent or custodial guardian' forfeiture of our house, if due to illegal substances under the drug seizure laws ** Please Note Alcohol and Drugs are not allowed in a Minor  Child  even if the smallest percentages as also Cigarettes or Tobacco are not by Legal Statures,  either is why confiscated by Sheriff's Deputy  in full public view  of others (as has happened to you) ** Remember  these are not Our Rules or Laws  they are Rules and Laws  made to protect you by Local State and Federal  Government  by and for the People in the United States  for their protection  if it is deemed illegal then there is no circumventing the law  simply put  illegal is illegal ... and is punishable  by law ....in other words we can ALL be punished for your actions.
10. Follow through with disciplinary actions. In life we all make miscalculations mistakes and are required to pay the penalites for these actions. Lindsey, you are no different! Due to the facts that (a)you have been suspended from then expelled from school, (b)run away from home while grounded and (c)snuck out of the house without permission repetetively ...you are subject to 'self discovery time' to break your bad habits until summer. this period of time use as said a Time Out with no distractions of  thoughts of running away when in actual life you are not subjected to any more then other kids who have a caring loving parent or guardian (**also note you are not now due to your actions and inabilities to see consequences in a given normal standard setting as kids who attend school regularly follow adults directions attend to their own needs as a teenage child or at your age 15 should you have a track record of being disruptive a track record of bad grades a track record of poor attendence from not attending classes you yourself chose to cut  when should have also with your opportunity and guidance given through life have chosen not to better yourself  or abused the tools given when should have seen the positive message you didn't and your aware have not being I have as others have truly tried to help you these include teachers counselors dean even sheriffs deputies as well **) Whereby till can show till January 2008 whereby then can submit for re-admittence to a normal school you must follow the guidelines as a normal school dictates whereby also with your proven record you have and others agree have lost normal priviledges normal teens have This means you go to school and return directly home from school. No stops at friends homes, no walks unless with me, your Mother. No sleepovers, or friends visiting or sleeping over at the house(This priviledge lost when abused  the House rules and items were stolen out of house as well as others brought into house without permission  this is a mere small price to pay )until you have effectively changed your behaviors which got you to this point. this time see it not as grounding see it as a time for self discovery of truely the person you are  lose your meanness lose your contempt lose your argumentativeness more so learn to take the proper positive directions others have taught you should take  the world is meant to be lived in with hope and understanding not disruption anarchy theft nor corruption of moral values nor the promotion of illegal activities  people want love and understanding not shock and disgust of other human beings  being promoted or even the viewing of ignorance and illiteracy as viewed as humor  belligerant manners obstinance and stubbornness are not viewed as normal liked traits lose them in this time you should take better as always stated a Quiet Time to reflect how to better yourself and overcome the many  poor traits and character flaws you have allowed yourself  to take on instead of taking the positive guidelines and positive reinforcement of  people who care and love you 
11. Stop Blaming Others For Your Actions! - Become responsible for yourself. As a young adult you must realize that You and you alone can change your direction in life. The fact is that nobody else forced you to do the things you did to get yourself in this situation. It is 100% up to you to do the things you need to to make the changes you need to have a good life and stay out of the hands of  ill meaning individuals (bad people) and of the  authorities.

I write this with love today and with the hopes that you, Lindsey will come to your senses, come home, stay home and stop running away from your responsibilities, our home and the people who love and want to protect and take care of you.

All I can do is hope you are ready to begin a new happy productive life by performing the 'self discovery' as described above to reform your thinking and behavior. After that you can start out with a clean slate.


Then, after paying the dues, most likely you won't even want to 'sing the blues' afterwards because you will be filled with pride of your achievment as you observe the door to endless possibilities open in front of you.

If this page helps other parents or guardians explain or address rules to live by it has served it's purpose. We all have times in our lives when we feel alone and that there is no place to turn for help. Young and old, we can help each other by writing about the things we know can help others understand our situation and related issues. There is hope, compassion, understanding and there is support.

If you have a question or comment about this page feel free to contact me, Sooz with the following Email Address. Clicking on the link will open your default email program. Please leave subject line in tact or my mail program will define it as Junk and I will never see it.  I will not tolerate spam (ads or business oppertunity  email) at this address so be forwarned do not send it here. Thanks ahead of time.

Thanks,
Susan Allen, Your Loving Mother
P.O. Box 9634 Bakersfield CA 93389

Interested In Joining a Teens & Parents Online Support Group? Fill out the form below and if we get enough interested people we'll begin the group.  Remember to Verify with the URL in the first email.

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One of the main reasons we started the Teens-Bakersfield website is to help teens, like Lindsey who are defiant, running away from home and disobeying the laws. Another is to provide information and support for parents and guardians of teens and concerned others who might be able to help and are looking for answers.

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